Defense broken, brain about to explode…

[river]

Mouse, a freshman at Jiaotong University, has spent this year living like a dark mouse in a sewer. He wants to study hard to secure a graduate recommendation, but he still hasn’t learned anything; he can’t focus in class, can’t concentrate at all, and everything feels chaotic. He can’t write homework properly, just scribbles it, and his grades keep dropping. He has never joined any club, organization, competition, or the research projects many of his peers participate in. He has no hobbies, knows no sports, has never been to a gym, can’t play any games, and doesn’t even understand what the games others are playing mean. He has no social life, almost no friends, and absolutely does not want to return to the dormitory each day. When he gets back and sees his roommates shouting while gaming, he feels like going crazy. He has spent many nights on the fourth floor of the library, wanting to study well but unable to learn anything at all.

Recently summer vacation started, there is no short‑term semester, but he doesn’t want to go home, doesn’t want his family to see his “bear‑like” state, and just wants to stay in the dorm and sleep. He doesn’t even want to eat, has nothing he wants to do, has blocked all QQ spaces and Moments, and hasn’t been able to contact anyone. He refuses and rejects any news about former high‑school classmates, has deleted Xiaohongshu, Douyin and other apps that could cause endless anxiety. After seeking external psychological counseling, he found his mind even less healthy. Tonight his parents video‑called and asked why his eyes were so red…

He really wants to die. What value does his life have now? He is someone who can’t do anything, has no ambition, rejects learning anything new, has no desire to do anything, never takes the first step, and even if he does, he just wants to retreat. He is forever swallowed by past regrets and a series of negative emotions, trapped in endless internal conflict, his brain a fog, suffering frequent headaches. Would it be better if he died now?

[anonymous_coward]

“Feeling” is an unstable signal; your real life situation does not involve many threats to your life, and the source of fear largely comes from predictions about the future.

If you truly think your abilities are poor, then at least you should admit that your predictions about the future are most likely wrong (predicting the future is extremely difficult).

Being scared stiff by unreasonable predictions is not much different from a kindergarten child fearing ghosts.

The most effective ways to control your feelings are:
(1) Exercise
(2) Consciously think: what is the opposite of the situation, i.e., where are the opportunities?
(3) Feedback from taking action

[anonymous_coward]

Repost a fellow member’s

Eliminating hallucinations and aligning with the world is not an easy task (whether for LLMs or for humans)

[一只玉米人 (玉米🌽)]

I-so-la-tion is not good for me.

It is recommended to see a psychologist and connect with the world.

[sumire (アイラちゃん)]

アイラちゃん doesn’t really know how to comfort people, but still wants to say a few words.
Having goals and dreams is a good thing, better than confusion and the unknown, but you still need to learn to make peace with yourself. アイラちゃん has always held as a guiding principle the phrase effort will not betray you, only dreams will. Work hard on what you can do, let the rest go naturally, and don’t regret not achieving the results you wanted; situations where effort doesn’t get rewarded are common. Learn to make peace with yourself, and continue to walk forward strongly. Only those who recognize the truth of life and keep moving forward are the heroes that belong to themselves.

[anonymous_coward]

I’m afraid it’s not that you fear failure, but that you want to.

[I_Love_ZJU (紫金港第一皮革<・)))><<)]

@sjtummm

I have never participated in any clubs, organizations, competitions, or the research projects that many of my peers join; I have no hobbies, I don’t know any sports, I’ve never been to a gym, I don’t play any games, and I have no idea what the games everyone talks about are.

I have been like this up to now. It feels that since graduate school recommendation only looks at academic credits and not these things, I might as well go with the flow and not force myself in these areas, otherwise it would be really painful.

[quote="相似的鼠鼠，post:1

[1313 (ᐕ)ﾉ)]

If your family can largely support and understand you you can try taking a leave of absence and go home to adjust first ensure regular diet and sleep.

[兴庆宫第一迷路幽灵 (post deleted by author)]

Overall, it feels like the OP’s biggest problem is lack of sleep.

@sjtummm

Can’t pay attention in class at all, can’t focus on anything.

Friends who got into Jiaotong University have strong learning abilities; if they suddenly can’t adapt to an unsupervised environment, they might want to check ADHD.

@sjtummm

As soon as I get back to the dorm and see my roommate playing games, shouting and screaming, I want to go crazy; many nights have been spent on the fourth floor of the Baotu linked building.

Talk to the counselor, change dorms

[I_Love_ZJU (紫金港第一皮革<・)))><<)]

@兴庆宫第一迷路幽灵

Which is the connected building on the fourth floor?

I haven’t been there either. It’s probably a place in the library where you can stay up all night?

[兴庆宫第一迷路幽灵 (post deleted by author)]

It turns out it really is Shangjiao ()—if Shangjiao goes out, the chance of renting a house drops significantly…

[I_Love_ZJU (紫金港第一皮革<・)))><<)]

Indeed, it feels like many houses over in Minhang are both rundown and expensive

[river]

Thank you, fellow members, for your concern; I truly lost my composure last night and couldn’t hold on.
Speaking of sleep, lately I’ve been sleeping in a vengeful way in the dorm, feeling that no matter how much I sleep, it’s never enough, and after sleeping I just don’t want to eat.
Regarding family, I don’t dare tell my parents because they would only say that I can’t regulate myself, that I don’t interact with others, that I don’t exercise on my own… (but I really can’t get out of it…).
In my current state, I don’t even want to go back home, because just thinking about returning makes me feel annoyed, yet they ask why I don’t go home while other classmates have gone home. But I really don’t want to think about my high school classmates in my mind.
I

[兴庆宫第一迷路幽灵 (post deleted by author)]

shared_user teach me how

@anonymous_coward

Consciously think: what is the opposite of the situation, i.e., where is the opportunity?

[Xenon (羽流弦ノ迹)]

Being able to get into Shanghai Jiao Tong University, you must have had some outstanding qualities since childhood. In other words, you must have had (many) successful experiences, perhaps even have hardly experienced any major failures.

But from personal experience, if you don’t know why you succeeded before, someday in the future you’ll hit a wall somewhere.

You might try recalling why you were happy and performed well in elementary and middle school, then try being that version of yourself again, focusing on things you love and aspire to, without worrying about gains or losses. (Anyway, this trick works pretty well for me )

@sjtummm

I was determined to study well enough to secure a recommendation for graduate school, but I still couldn’t learn anything; I couldn’t pay attention in class, couldn’t concentrate at all, everything I did felt chaotic, I couldn’t write homework, I just scribbled it down, and my grades kept dropping.

I think not many people’s motivation truly “originates” from further education. Learning that uses further education as the source of motivation or ultimate goal is bound to be hollow. From this perspective, you also haven’t drawn motivation from exams. That’s natural; your source of motivation should be what you want to obtain.

Think about what the pursuit of further education actually is?
If it’s a better life, then I think you should immediately start improving your current living conditions, whether it’s sleep, diet, or reading, gaming, etc.; if it’s pursuing a beloved career, I suggest you first try focusing your studies on the relevant field to gain motivation and positive feedback; if it’s gaining a sense of achievement through competition victories, then try participating in contests.
Regardless of what you like, you now have a direction for action to choose. Disliking your current inaction should start with action.
It’s like me now, recalling the preparation for something, and stopping the morning‑long phone scrolling—a great action.

Of course, I think the fact that you are having this kind of reflection is valuable in itself. I’m also a freshman, and from my observation many people around me actually act first and then wonder why (or some never think about it). The advantage is there is no empty feedback period; the downside is lacking a clear personal direction, just going with the flow. Since you have thought about it, direction likely isn’t the problem; you need feedback from action:

@anonymous_coward

(3) Feedback from action

Example: you received positive feedback by posting, and other users received positive feedback by replying. We do this not because of further education or anything else, but because it makes

[一锅炖不下 (大鲲炒鹰鹰)]

About socializing.

Xiao Tengjiao is a year ahead of the OP, now a sophomore moving to junior year.

Throughout my freshman year, I hardly socialized with people at university. First, there were few classmates around, so I didn’t meet any particularly compatible friends; second, I didn’t join any student work or clubs (not interested and didn’t want to spend time), so I had even fewer opportunities to meet people.

Real socializing started in sophomore year, becoming active in Shuiyuan (specific two types of topics), and after a year, I’ve gotten to know several very good friends, transitioning from Shuiyuan to offline. So try Shuiyuan and Tuyu!

[anonymous_coward]

[river]

Thank you everyone, I tried hard to get moving today, but I found that I still couldn’t learn anything…

[兴庆宫第一迷路幽灵 (post deleted by author)]

You can start by adjusting your routine, trying a sport, or just taking a walk to connect with nature It’s not that urgent to study.

[一只玉米人 (玉米🌽)]

Don’t try to do it all at once; taking a small step each day toward improvement is enough.
Move toward the optimal solution!