In the end, I still took the step of expressing myself. Understanding my own insignificance made me begin to reconcile with myself. So let’s start a new story from today.
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The externality of being human really isn’t that easy to shake off.
Still uncertain where to start to reclaim one’s sense of belonging.
Perhaps, perhaps it can begin by letting self‑talk be heard.
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Externality refers to the effect that a decision of an economic activity has on others; this effect can be positive or negative. Positive externality refers to an economic activity that brings benefits to others or society, and the beneficiaries do not have to pay a cost; Negative externality refers to an economic activity that causes harm to others or society, and the party causing the damage does not bear the corresponding cost.
Teaching and research are activities that constitute positive externalities.
My usage is probably not standard.
But I suddenly thought that “involution” was once an agricultural term.
Compared to daily updates, weekly updates seem to suit my frequency better. Often, I only think of recording and communicating with others when I’m feeling particularly upset; once life seems to get back on track, I just think of moving forward quickly. If emotions could be quantified, the blog would record the high‑frequency features of my mood.
One situation in life that makes me very uncomfortable is that I truly achieve nothing, yet I have to dress up and package myself so I appear to have done some work. This is especially true for various interviews, defenses, and presentations. The more I try to depict my achievements, the emptier it feels.
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