Recently I often need to communicate with teachers online, and I find that sending messages to people I’m not familiar with is extremely agonizing. I often have to waver back and forth for a long time before I can barely construct a few words, and after sending them I end up regretting the details for a long time.
On the contrary, executing dangerous commands in a production environment feels much more decisive
This is probably because I understand the principles of a production environment, but I can’t predict the behavior of unknown people. I agonize for a long time and can’t simulate the outcome of my words, so even after sending a message I remain immersed in the fear of the unknown.
This way of handling social interactions is likely unhealthy. Maybe normal people, when facing new social relationships, have a universal subconscious way of communicating and the confidence to apply it effortlessly? It seems that if I can’t rationally simulate a conversation in advance to ensure I don’t say something out of line, I feel extremely anxious—just as I wouldn’t casually paste and run a shell command I don’t understand.
Why is there such a heavy reliance on rational simulation? Perhaps it’s because many aspects of life feel out of control, leading to learned helplessness
Why do I dislike maintaining fragmented states? It may be because I unconsciously consider details to be secondary and can discard them in the face of major tasks. Having done this for a long time, it has become a habit, and trying to consciously plan in detail feels painful.
I increasingly feel that the importance of language is still relatively low.
In the relatives’ group chat, those people are sharp‑tongued, their words often carry barbs, but most of the time it’s fine. There is still a long way to go before a complete fallout.
In fact, it’s really not that important.
But my feedback strategy has serious issues; even with people who are completely unrelated or opposed, getting into conflict with them makes me feel internally exhausted.
Actually, it’s just an immaturity and cowardice in my social abilities.
